


A preliminary examination of potential significant others (last saved by T. Drake)

by Betty, Petra



Series: Spreadsheet of love [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU - Comicverse
Genre: F/M, M/M, Pre-War Games, pros and cons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-10
Updated: 2006-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-12 00:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betty/pseuds/Betty, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petra/pseuds/Petra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://thefourthvine.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://thefourthvine.livejournal.com/"><strong>thefourthvine</strong></a> <a href="http://liviapenn.livejournal.com/407216.html?thread=4020400#t4020400">wrote</a>, "I want the story where someone sits down and thinks that, and lists every single person in the canon (probably in some kind of database, with numerical codes and assigned weights for each category and stuff) and weighs all the pros and cons and finally, after a lot of careful deliberation, selects a candidate for the position of Significant Other."</p><p>This is the first step in that process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A preliminary examination of potential significant others (last saved by T. Drake)

**Author's Note:**

> Authors: [](http://brown-betty.livejournal.com/profile)[**brown_betty**](http://brown-betty.livejournal.com/), [](http://petronelle.livejournal.com/profile)[**petronelle**](http://petronelle.livejournal.com/), and [](http://ficbyzee.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://ficbyzee.livejournal.com/)**ficbyzee**

Please scroll down. This is in the form of a table, and there really is text here, but AO3 doesn't treat it terribly well.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Name**

| 

**Pros**

| 

**Cons**

| 

**Other Considerations**  
  
---|---|---|---  
  
**Allen, Bart**

| 

\- Consistently interesting conversational partner  
\- Good working knowledge of each others' personalities  
\- Unlikely to be injured in lasting way

| 

\- May be distractable despite encroaching maturity  
\- Food budget

| 

\- Increased possibility of losing romantic partner in a "Crisis"  
  
**Anders, Kory**

| 

\- Attractive in a highly feminine way  
\- Sexually experienced

| 

\- Attractive in a highly feminine way  
\- Sexually experienced

| 

\- Of all listed, is most likely to garner approval from Dick  
  
**Aquista, Darla**

| 

\- Has evinced interest in me

| 

\- Necrophilia somewhat offputting  
\- Connections to organized crime  
\- May never know identity

|   
  
**Bertinelli, Helena**

| 

\- Unlikely to demand great degree of emotional intimacy  
\- Enjoyable teammate and conversational partner

| 

\- Bruce may present a difficulty

| 

\- Her history with Dick, though this does not seem to have impaired his relationship with Roy  
  
**Brown, Stephanie**

| 

\- Is already privy to information I may not be permitted to share with others  
\- Very accepting of personal boundaries  
\- Wealth of shared experience  
\- Compatible personalities  
\- Extremely fond of me  
\- Caring, understanding friend  
\- Appreciates my taste in pizza

| 

\- Is impetuous and headstrong

| 

\- Already has social approval from important parties  
\- Has tension with Bruce  
\- Dad & Dana's approval - pro or con?  
  
**Cain, Cassandra**

| 

\- Will understand my crime-fighting commitments

| 

\- Will understand everything else  
\- Is extremely intimidating for this reason and others

| 

\- Should be encouraged to wear Barbara's old suit as often as possible  
  
**Carr, Snapper**

| 

\- Experienced providing logistical support while remaining safe

| 

\- Sense he takes the Mission less than seriously

|   
  
**Choi, Grace**

| 

\- Very experienced  
\- Would not expect committed relationship  
\- Would reject emotional support

| 

\- *VERY* experienced  
\- Unlikely to be interested in anything more than one-night stand  
\- Could break me in half  
\- Anissa (?)  
\- Roy

| 

\- Roy unlikely to exercise any sort of monogamy claim  
(cf. Harper, R. and notes on commitment, monogamy)  
  
**Curry, Arthur**

| 

\- Complimentary effective working ranges

| 

\- "I love you -- Aquaman!"

| 

\- Would this make me a stepfather?  
  
**Dearden, Mia**

| 

\- Friendly, charismatic  
\- Increasing amounts of shared experience

| 

\- Medical concerns  
\- Traumatic sexual history, may require emotional support that I am not equipped to provide

|   
  
**Dowd, Bernard**

| 

\- Has evinced an interest in me

| 

\- Will never be on approved list for sharing of identity

|   
  
**El, Kon**

| 

\- Basis of friendship promising  
\- Compatible psychosexual makeup, as evidenced by "Ravers"  
\- Long-term history lends itself to conversation or companionable silence  
\- Sympathy already exists between us  
\- Tactile telekinesis  
\- Would be unlikely to develop animosity even if he is uninterested in me

| 

\- Not actually skilled at companionable silence in practice  
\- May be inclined to gossip  
\- Fashion sense questionable  
\- Execrable taste in television  
\- Criticizes my taste in music

| 

\- In committed relationship (cf. Sandsmark, Cassie)  
\- I may not be his "type"  
\- Secrets regarding his genetics could complicate things, but have already done so  
  
**Fite, Anita**

| 

\- Her personality would be complementary to my own, and ease and facilitate social interactions

| 

\- Magical skills somewhat disconcerting  
\- Nudity likewise disconcerting

| 

\- Whereabouts unknown  
\- Single mother, may not be interested in relationship at this time  
  
**Flores, Catalina**

| 

\- Sexually attractive  
\- Impetuous enough to consider me a prospect under the correct circumstances

| 

\- Would create tension with Dick  
\- May still carry a torch for him

| 

\- Involvement in Dick's emotional breakdown (?)  
\- Possibly insane  
  
**Gordon, Barbara**

| 

\- Access to vast amounts of information and supplemental materials will keep relations on every level consistently intriguing  
\- Unlikely to require high levels of emotional engagement  
\- Some sympathy exists between us  
\- Vast video library

| 

\- Practically speaking, omniscient

| 

\- Her relationship history does not suggest I am her "type"  
  
**Grayson, Dick**

| 

\- Shares an understanding of the unique difficulties associated with the legacy  
\- Fearless, effusive, and full of grace  
\- Not difficult to seduce  
\- Good taste in movies, television, fast food  
\- Dad & Dana know and like him  
\- Has a certain fondness for me

| 

\- May be more interested in permanent commitment than I am  
\- May require intensive emotional support  
\- Would be extremely inconvenient enemy  
\- Fashion sense questionable  
\- Impossible to make small talk due to extensive knowledge of his background

| 

\- Have already devised plan for neutralization in case of enmity  
\- Ongoing romantic yen for Barbara, Kory, Bruce (?)  
  
**Harper, Roy**

| 

\- Charismatic and attractive

| 

\- Unlikely to be interested in long-term committment  
\- A falling-out would negatively impact both of our teams and our affiliations  
\- History with Dick (?)

| 

\- Ask Babs about "Speedy" joke  
\- Ask Helena about "draws a mighty bow" joke(s)  
  
**Hawke, Connor**

| 

\- Pleasant to associate with  
\- Not disposed to excesses of emotion  
\- Self-sufficient to all appearances and credit checks

| 

\- Apparently virginal  
\- Mutual lack of experience may hinder matters  
\- Effects of faith on sexuality unclear

|   
  
**Hayes, Greta**

| 

\- Some shared history

| 

\- May be invested in "normalcy" to the exclusion of friendship/more with me  
\- Now corporeal

|   
  
**J'onzz, J'onn**

| 

\- Advisibililty of a connection to arguably most powerful member of JLA  
\- Possibility of exercising stabilizing influence on same  
\- Shape-shifter, which would indubitably add spice

| 

\- May still be in mourning for lost family/planet  
\- May not be interested in me

| 

\- Extent to which our anatomy is compatible unknown  
  
**King-Jones, Cissie**

| 

\- Enjoyable company  
\- Has evinced interest in past

| 

\- Might expect me to forgo crime fighting as she has done, which would be unacceptable

|   
  
**Kord, Ted**

| 

\- Shared interests  
\- Mutual respect already exists  
\- The Bug  
\- Access to highly advanced technology

| 

\- Missing, presumed dead  
\- Already shares said technology with teammates, so unlikely to be useful as a bargaining chip

| 

\- Barbara may have prior claim  
  
**Kyle, Selina**

| 

\- Bruce will be unable to contest the desirability of the connection

| 

\- Criminal record  
\- Unstable personality

|   
  
**Lance, Dinah**

| 

\- Physically attractive  
\- Shared experiences and frame of reference  
\- Willing to wear wigs for right incentive

| 

\- Not on the approved list for secret identities at present  
\- A falling-out might create animosity between teams

| 

\- Babs (?)  
\- Ollie (?)  
  
**Lane-Kent, Clark**

| 

\- Unlikely to die permanently  
\- Indubitably a font of fascinating conversation  
\- Multiple chances to practice languages other than English  
\- Has access to technology so advanced it is indistinguishable from magic

| 

\- Current partner is extremely intimidating  
\- Physical prowess may cause problems in the heat of passion

| 

\- In committed relationship (cf. Lane-Kent, Lois)  
\- Stepfatherhood (cf. Curry, A.)  
  
**Lane-Kent, Lois**

| 

\- Demonstrated success at relationships with superheroes  
\- Highly intelligent  
\- Skilled conversationalist

| 

\- Metropolis is a long commute without superspeed

| 

\- Frightening  
\- In committed relationship (cf. Lane-Kent, Clark)  
  
**Lee, Jubilation**

| 

\- Has expressed interest in the past  
\- Good kisser when our lives are in the balance

| 

\- Extremely talkative  
\- Not much in common

| 

\- Does not reside in this universe  
  
**Logan, Garfield**

| 

\- Shape-shifter, green (cf. J'onzz, J.)  
\- Experienced crime-fighter  
\- Some shared history

| 

\- Incompatible personalities

| 

\- In a committed relationship (cf. Stone, V.)  
  
**Luthor, Lex**

| 

\- Has resources not currently available to me  
\- Highly intelligent, engaging conversational partner  
\- Offers intriguing challenges

| 

\- Evil  
\- Was exposed to radiation as a child; could affect sexual prowess  
\- Metropolis is a long commute without superspeed

| 

\- Kon would never forgive me  
\- Bruce would find it an interesting avenue to exploit for resource gains  
  
**no last name, Diana**

| 

\- Connections to U.S. Embassy and Amazons  
\- Lasso (cf. J'onzz, J. re: spice)

| 

\- Intimidating  
\- Predisposed to throwing Titans long distances  
\- Could affect relations with Cassie

| 

\- Stepfatherhood (cf. Curry, A.)  
  
**no last name, Indigo**

| 

\- Robot  
\- Highly intelligent

| 

\- Very powerful, previous killing rampages  
\- May revert

| 

\- In committed relationship (cf. Shift)  
  
**no last name, Shift**

| 

\- Shape-changer (cf. J'onzz, J.)  
\- Opportunity to gather intelligence on new meta

| 

\- Very little shared experience

| 

\- In committed relationship (cf. Indigo)  
  
**no last name, Slo-bo**

| 

\- Sexual relationship could be beneficial to keeping him in line

| 

\- Present whereabouts unknown  
\- Progenitor killed the rest of his species  
\- Willing to do same to others

| 

\- Anita may have a prior claim  
\- Czarnian sexual habits? (research required)  
  
**Pennyworth, Alfred**

| 

\- Would traumatize Bruce  
\- Age implies great experience  
\- Excellent cook  
\- Our personalities are compatible  
\- Shared history

| 

\- Would traumatize Dick, possibly myself  
\- Age might hinder performance  
\- Knows me too well

| 

\- In a committed relationship (?) (Thompkins, L., not listed)  
  
**Queen, Oliver**

| 

\- Charismatic  
\- Unlikely to be too demanding

| 

\- Indubitably disinterested in long-term commitment  
\- Would need to associate entirely discreetly

| 

\- Possibility of being laughed out of superhero community  
\- Stepfatherhood (cf. Curry, A.)  
  
**Raynor, Kyle**

| 

\- Holds Bat legacy in appropriate respect  
\- Green Lantern powers = endless possibility

| 

\- High fatality incidence with romantic partners

| 

\- May not actually be in galaxy  
  
**Sandsmark, Cassie**

| 

\- Would strengthen connection with Amazons  
\- Long term friendship lends basis for relationship  
\- Lasso (cf. Diana)

| 

\- Unlikely to be interested in me romantically

| 

\- In committed relationship (cf. El, K.)  
  
**Stone, Victor**

| 

\- Has access to highly advanced technology  
\- Compatible personalities

| 

\- Extant organic matter unknown  
\- Kon seems infatuated with him

| 

\- Cybernetic attachments?  
\- In a committed relationship (cf. Logan, G.)  
  
**Todd, Jason**

| 

\- Shared history would lend itself to conversation  
\- Compatible interests  
\- Arguably my "type"

| 

\- Present affiliation unclear

| 

\- Bruce (?)  
  
**Troy, Donna**

| 

\- Would strengthen connection with Amazons  
\- Formidable ally

| 

\- Unlikely to be interested in me  
\- Presently deceased or equivalent

|   
  
**Wayne, Bruce**

| 

\- Might strengthen working relationship  
\- Some measure of sympathy already exists between us  
\- Shared interests and experiences

| 

\- Likely to lose interest in the face of other commitments and distractions  
\- Would never, ever hear the end of it from Dick  
\- Might cause tension with Dick  
\- "Bruce Wayne" persona

| 

\- Would cause tension throughout hero community  
\- Stepfatherhood (cf. Curry, A.)  
  
**Wilson, Slade**

| 

\- Any experience involving Slade would certainly be life-changing

| 

\- Any experience with Slade has a far greater than zero chance of being life-ending

| 

\- Stepfatherhood (cf. Curry, A.)  
  
**Wusan, Shiva**

| 

\- Possibility of exercising a restraining influence on a dangerous element  
\- Opportunity for learning new skills

| 

\- History of killing those close to her skill level  
\- And the merely annoying  
\- Likely to impart new skills which I prefer not to use

| 

\- Am unlikely to approach her skill level  
\- Stepfatherhood (cf. Curry, A.)  
  
**Zor-El, Kara**

| 

\- Genetic history suggests she would be interested in me  
\- Opportunity to learn new languages  
\- Powerful ally

| 

\- Not my "type"  
\- Carries a torch for Dick  
\- Has a short temper along with great strength: bad combination

| 

\- Unsure whether Bruce would approve or disapprove  
\- Unsure whether Clark would approve or disapprove  
  
**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bruce found the spreadsheet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/242660) by [Elfwreck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elfwreck)




End file.
